deeply forgotten



You dont remember me. You never think of me.
I try to give you my hand, but you keep hurling grey stones at me.
I am a target. I have been falling for so long.
I sleep airborne. You have forgotten me.
Under the same stars I remain deeply forgotten.

pig n' duck

 

 

Duck could hear Pig cough from the room next door.
”Whatever am I going to do with him?”, he said to himself as he put down the paper he was reading and went in to Pigs room. Pig sat in his bed with his both hands over his mouth, as he coughed and gasped for breath.
”Oh, don’t cry, darling!”, Duck said and put his feathery wings around him.
”I’m so so so scared.” Pig cried and hugged Duck back.
”You’ll be allright. And I’ll hang about the house with you until then. I better get you something to eat. Try and get some rest.”

As Duck came out to the kitchen he could hear Pig cough again. He really pitied him. He turned up the volym on the radio, the sport news voice deafed the sound of illness in the little cabin. They had lived in the cabin for almost five months now. The little cabin, that was located in the middle of nowhere was the perfect dwelling for them. One bedroom with two beds, one kitchen with a wooden table and two chairs, a livingroom with a couch and a open fire. And the little bathroom. The bathtub was broken when they moved in, but Duck managed to fix it somehow. Duck wasn’t handy at all, so he was quite proud of that.

He poured water into a pot, and heated it up. He chopped tomato, onion and carrots and added it to the soup he was cooking for Pig. He was just about to cut another carrot when he was interruped by a bang. A bang followed by another bang. The bangs made the windows jar and Duck cut his wing pretty bad on the knife. The bangs came from the wooden door. The thick wooden door. Duck looked at the big clock on the wall. It was half past eleven. Then he looked out the window. There was a powerful snowstorm going on outside. Duck took the knife, and with shaking knees, he walked slowly up to the door. He counted to three and quickly opened it.

”Whoever dares come and disturb us like this on a Thursday night?” he shouted out without even looking at who he was speaking to. He opened his eyes and in fright he saw something big and dark. He immediatly closed the door and ran into the bedroom. He hided under a big blanket. Pig had luckily fallen alseep, and did not have to deal with this drama.

Then he heard it again, the violent, merciless bangs on the thick wooden door. Duck gasped and his legs were shaking like leaves on a tree. He realized he had to deal with the big, dark creature. He would do it for Pig.

He walked slowly up to the door again. And just like he did before, he counted to three and with all the power in his body, he opened the door. He slowly analyzed the big creature. It was at least three times as big as himself, had a black fur, wet from the snow and on his head he wore a brown hat. His eyes were squeezed into two small lines on his face that looked terribly sad.
”However may I help you, sir?” Duck said politely, his knees were still shaking of fear.
”Would you mind let me into your house? The snowstorm is unbearable.” The stranger answered.
”I rather not let strangers into my house. My friend is very ill.”
”I understand, kind sir, but I think I might be able to help you. I’m a doctor, you see.” He showed Duck his bag, that apparently held his doctor tools.

Duck were unsure about letting the stranger in. But he did it anyways.

”I have a feeling I’ll regret this” Duck said to himself.
”Pardon me?”
”Nevermind. So you’re a doctor, eh?”

”Yes. Oh well, I used to be. Let me introduce myself, I’m Badger. I come from the further north.” He put his hat on the hatrack.

Duck reached out his right wing to shake Badgers hand and Badger saw the damage on Ducks wing from when he cut himself on the knife earlier.
”Let me take a look on that..” he said, and took Ducks wing between his big, cold paws. He opened his bag and took up a little package. Gently, he put a bandage on Ducks injured wing and Duck looked at him with amaze.
”Wow! You really are a doctor, aren’t you?”
”I told you so, didn’t I, Duck?”

Badger smiled and walked in to the Kitchen. Duck pulled out on of the chairs for him, and asked him to sit down. The chair that usually did not have to carry that much weight crook a bit. Duck served Badger some soup and started to pour up a bowl for Pig too.
”So who is your ill friend?”
”Oh, Pig is really ill. Can you not please take a look at him? And tell me what to do. I feel so terribly sorry for him.”

Badger stood up, and without a word, he walked into the bedroom where Pig were sleeping. Once again he opened his bag but this time he took up a big stethoscope. He put it on his head and listened carefully to Pigs heart through the wire. Pig did not react on the touch of Badgers cold paw.
”Do he cough much?” Badger asked with his loud, brown voice.
”Yes, yes he does!” Duck said with excitment.
”Oh, well.. I know what this is.” Badger put down his tool in the bag and went out of the room. Duck ran after him and waited for further information.
”Have you heard about the flu, mr Duck?” Badger said voicelessly. Duck had not heard about the flu. He shook his head.
”It’s hopeless.” Badger continued. ”I’m sorry.”
Duck could not understand it. What was hopeless? What was the flu? Was it the flu or was it THE flu? What did that mean anyway? He sat down on the chair. He was about to say something, but the only sound he could make was a sob.


”Unless…” Badger started speaking again and Duck looked at him with a small glint of hope in his eyes.
”Unless you let me take care of him.” He continued.
I don’t quite understand whatever you are talking about, Badger”
”You said it yourself, I’m a doctor. Am I not?”
”Oh please, Badger. I’m begging you. Pig is the only friend I’ve got! I don’t know how to live without him!” Duck went down on his knees for Badger, and he could barely hold back the tears that burned behind his eyelids.
”I see you’re really passionated about this Pig… I think I might be able to help you out of this. But only if you give me full control over this case. Will you?” Badger said it with a sneaky voice. As if it was a secret. Duck did not care, he just threw himself into Badgers arms as for accepting Badgers suggestion.


Duck gave Badger a blanket and offered him the couch to sleep on. The couch was a bit too small for the big animal, but he managed to make it comfortable for himself. And a few minutes later, the little cabin was filled with the sound of brutal snoring.
”Oh that Badger sure is disturbing..” Pig whispered to Duck. ”I wish he could leave already..”
Duck didn’t respond to that. He was exhausted from the long day and fell asleep very fast.


When Duck woke up the morning after he did what he always does, went up to Pigs bed to see how he was feeling. But something was different this morning. Pigs bed was empty.
”That’s odd!” Duck gasped and went out to the kitchen.
”Pig! Pig! Where are you?” he called, but Pig didn’t respond. Duck continued to look around the cabin, but he could not find him anywhere. Duck was incredibly worried. Pig had not left his bed alone for weeks.
”Whatever shall I do now?” Duck said without any hope. Then it suddenly hit him,
”BADGER!” he shouted. He could hear the echo from his voice bounce against the walls. He ran to the big wooden door and looked at the hatrack. Badgers hat was gone. And so was Badger, and probably Pig too.
In anger, sorrow and fear Duck opened the door. The blizzard hit his face, but the cold did not stop him. He walked out on the porch and found a note in the snow.

”Dear Duck,
Thanks for feeding me.
Live long and prosper,

Yours sincerely, Badger”

 

Duck looked at the note. He did not understand it. All he understood was that Badger was gone, and so was Pig. His only friend. He walked into the house again and made himself a cup of tea.

”I’ll be allright.” He said to himself, ”I’ll be alright.”


klingande hjärtan till salu

Jag kvävs. Jag kan inte andas. Jag kvävs. Ingenting fungerar. Allting dör. Allting lämnar denna plats. Denna plats, så obetydlig men ändå så viktig. Vi alla tar del av den. Vi alla har byggt den tillsammans. Vi kvävs tillsammans. Jag kvävs. Jag kan inte andas. Jag vill inte vara här. Jag vill inte somna. Jag vill inte vakna. Detta dödar mig. Detta kväver mig. Varför måste jag göra såhär. Varför måste jag vara såhär. Varför måsta jag kvävas och dö varje gång jag vaknar. Jag hoppas att det försvinner. Jag hoppas att det försvinner. Jag behöver inte någon, men ändå gråter jag över dig. Jag behöver inte någon. Låt mig vara. Jag vill vakna upp ensam, eller brevid dina rutiner. Rutiner. Jag kan inte andas. Jag kvävs. Jag behöver inte någonting. Jag klarar mig ensam. Med dig. Utan alla andra. Helt ensam. Hand i hand. Kniv mot strupe. Dröm iväg. Ett evigt skjutvapen. Kärlek. Finns till bara för att få dig att gråta. Av lycka. Separerade vener. Dränkta i tårar. Klingande hjärta till salu.
Denna plats är vår att förstöra. Vi är här för att förstöra.

dina kyssar smakar mjölk

Jag kokar te. Två koppar.

Vill du ha mjölk i?

Ja, tack.

falling out of love with me

Du faller ur kärleken med mig.

Du drar mig med dig. Ut, ner, ner på marken.

Aj.

Jag föll hårdare än dig.

läser du detta är du död



Precis det här.

Tomma tankar.

I en blogg.

Som bara jag får läsa.

Eller, du får läsa. Men det tjänar inget till.

Tack.


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